Thirteen Things Not to Say to a Pagan
Week 9 (E): etiquette (and the snarky responses you’re likely to receive from me should you ask me these questions)
The following are some things you shouldn’t say to a pagan, particularly one you’ve just met. I’ve heard them all before, so no, you’re not as original as you think you are. Mostly this is just an excuse to do a snarky gif post. I ❤ gifs.
1) “Do you really fly on a broom?”
Yes. I also expect to be crushed by a falling house in about 5 years. Everything the movies say about witches is true.
2) “You’re going to hell.”
3) “Do your parents know? Are they ok with you being a witch?”
Yes. Mom actually read quite a few of the books I read in the early years, but she encouraged me to explore my spirituality. She raised me reading Greek and Roman mythology, so my interest in gods and goddesses wasn’t exactly surprising to her. Dad, as a diehard atheist, hates all religions equally, so we just don’t talk about it.
4) “So I really want a girlfriend/boyfriend/sentient blowup doll substitute/new job/better car/more money…”
5) “Do you worship the devil?”
Seriously. It’s 2014. There’s no excuse for this kind of ignorance. UseTheFuckingGoogle.com
6) “I’m going to pray for you.”
7) “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”
See question 1.
8) “Yeah, but that’s not, like, a real religion.”
9) “So is it just like that movie The Craft?”
10) “But magic isn’t real!”
11) “Have you heard about the lord Jesus Christ?”
12) “Oh! Well, you do wear a lot of black, so I guess that explains it…”
13) “Can I come watch your full moon rites?”
This is tougher, because I often feel that this request comes from a place of respect and genuine interest. Usually I gently explain that my rituals are private, given the solitary nature of my practice, but that I appreciate their enthusiasm.
In conclusion, I’m not always snarky, but when I am, it’s because you’re asking questions that Google could answer for you in the time it takes me to take a breath and mentally remind myself not to cut a bitch.